This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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