im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
