dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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