That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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