I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
