We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
