is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize