i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
