Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
