If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
