you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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