Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
