i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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