Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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