i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
