I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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