I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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