Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize