I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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