I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
