You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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