I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
