Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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