In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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