I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize