My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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