bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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