I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
