You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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