You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
