Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
