You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
