I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i barfeds in our rink
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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