you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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