Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
