He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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