She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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