Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
