she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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