before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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