I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
