The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
