dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
