a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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