I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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