I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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