Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
