im drinking this country out of the recession.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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