At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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