I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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