not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize