3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
