After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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