Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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